


In case I don’t get another chance

by dinogirlparis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Battle of Hogwarts, Canon Universe, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:01:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27252379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinogirlparis/pseuds/dinogirlparis
Summary: When Dean arrives at Hogwarts to fight, Seamus is hit with realisation that this may be the last time they see each other. Before he can lose the chance forever Seamus is determined to tell Dean how he feels.
Relationships: Seamus Finnigan/Dean Thomas
Kudos: 89





	In case I don’t get another chance

**Author's Note:**

> A/N This fic is also on wattpad under my account with the same name dinogirlparis where I have other stories if you want to check them out. I would love to know what you think, so feel free to leave comments. I do not own Harry   
> Potter or any of its characters.

Seamus closed his eyes, feeling nauseas from the frantic bustle that blurred into lines of colours. It didn't help much, he could still hear the padding of people's feet as they ran past, the shuffling of supplies and the rushed goodbyes. He breathed deeply once, twice trying and failing to calm the heartbeat pulsing in his ears. 

He had to do this. He couldn't back down now. He had to take his chance, in case he lost it for good. 

Seamus forced his eyes open and onto Dean. God, he'd missed him. The last year had been hell without him. The carrows had taken over the school and every day he was forced to fight them to stay strong enough to make it through. A couple weeks ago it grew too dangerous to oppose the carrows openly, forcing the new D.A. now under Seamus's supervision to hold out in the room of requirement. There was never a moment of rest, of relief, or even enough time to wonder, to worry to hope all there was, was survival.

Yet, somehow Seamus still found his mind plagued by images of Dean. Of their life before the war, Dean's laugh light and carefree as it carried through the open area of the Gryffindor common room. He wondered if wherever Dean was, had been able to laugh like that, to live without the weight of guilt and loss on his shoulders. If wherever Dean was, was anything like the last year at Hogwarts than he knew it was impossible. But he couldn't help but hope that Dean was happy, that he was safe, as safe as a muggle born could be. The memories though they were happy hurt to think about, to acknowledge how much their lives had changed in a single year. He didn't even know what Dean had been through, if it had changed him or broken him. All he knew was that he himself had changed and he figured Dean had to. 

Sometimes, when everything calmed for a moment, when he was supposed to be asleep, his thoughts would run wild and rampant conjuring up images too horrifying to look past. He could see Dean hurt, tortured in ways so similar to what his life had become. He could see him trapped, captured thrown in an empty cell slowly rotting away. And the worst of all that he couldn't seem to stop imagine was Dean's body lying lifeless on the floor. 

He tried everything he could think of to avoid the image the thought that maybe he'd already lost Dean. He'd work no one stop for days til he passed out from exhaustion and the images escaped into his dreams, growing, darkening, twisting. He'd tried all the spells he could think of that may help him sleep, he even tried brewing a potion from the ingredients the D.A. wasn't using. But nothing ever seemed to work. All he could see was Dean, hurt, destroyed, broken, dead. He scared himself far more than the carrows or the war or even god damn Voldemort ever could

** *

Seamus was laying awake in his hammock staring at the ceiling as he swayed from side to side, when Neville spasmed nearly flipping his hammock upside down barely managing to grab onto the sides and steady himself. 

Seamus sat forward rubbing his eyes. "What happened are you okay? Did you have another nightmare?" 

"Luna sent a message from the fake galleons, she's with Dean their coming to Hogwarts to fight." 

Frantically Seamus turned to Nevilletippingdangerously. "She's with Dean. Are you sure?"

"That's what she said."

"Dean's okay."

Neville's voice softened "Yeah, Dean's okay."

For the first time in weeks Seamus felt hopeful, Dean was alive and he was okay and he was coming to Hogwarts. Sadly, Seamus knew they wouldn't have time to reconnect, they had a war to fight. 

* * *

Seamus had spent the last few days watching the tunnel into Hogwarts, waiting for Dean and Luna to arrive. The second he saw Dean step into the room he ran straight towards him, causing Dean to letoutanumph as he struggled not to topple from the added weight.

"Dean"

"Sea?" Dean stared at Seamus the boy's face was swelling unevenly and layered in the purples, blues, yellows and browns of different aged bruises. At first Dean hadn't even been able to tell the blur running at him had been his best friend, but know that he looked closely he could see his remarkable blue-green eyes and the layers of dirt and soot that always seemed to be on his face.

Hesitantly Dean rubbed his hand across Seamus' cheek causing the other boy to flinch involuntarily. "What happened to you?" 

"It's not important — "

"Not important, you face has swollen to match the size of your big head" 

Seamus snorted, glad to know that even amongst all the chaos and changes that their relationship wasn't one of them.

"what's important is,are you ready to fight?"

"About that, I don't have a wand."

Seamus stared at Dean silently for several seconds. Dean had come running into battle knowingly without a wand. Seamus hit Dean. "Ow" Dean mumbled rubbing his arm.

"You ran into a battle knowingly without your wand. What are you stupid? Are you actively trying to get yourself killed?!?"Seamus screamed attracting the attention of several of the other students

"I lost mine."

"Come on," Seamus said as he grabbed the hem of Dean's robe and lead him into one of the corners filled with supplies. "We'll find you a new wand."

It only took several seconds for Dean to find which of the three leftover wands worked the best. 

Now, all there was to do was to prepare as well as they could and wait for their signal to attack. Seamus kept sparing glances at Dean, who never strayed from his side as they distributed their supplies and helped several younger students, students far to young to fight in a war, though Seamus knew the same could be said about him, how to master several useful defence spells. 

Time was dwindling down and Seamus was beginning to falter. The gravity of what they were going to risk, the fact that several of the faces in the room he may never get a chance to see again crushed down on him. He could lose his classmates, his friends his family, he could lose Harry, or Lavender or Neville. He could even lose Dean. Seamus didn't know what he'd do without Dean., he'd been such a big part of his life for so long, he had only managed to make it through this past year knowing that there was always a chance he was out there. He didn't know what he'd do with himself without that. 

Seamus closed his eyes, feeling nauseas from the frantic bustle that blurred into lines of colours. It didn't help much, he could still hear the padding of people's feet as they ran past, the shuffling of supplies and the rushed goodbyes. He breathed deeply once, twice trying and failing to calm the heartbeat pulsing in his ears. 

He had to do this. He couldn't back down now. He had to take his chance, in case he lost it for good. 

Grasping onto Dean's sleeve Seamus used it pulled it to one of the quieter corners.  
"Where are we going?"

"I wanna talk to you." Seamus muttered, without looking back. 

Glancing around Seamus made certain that no one was watching them before turning to face Dean's confused face. 

Seamus jumped forcing his eyes away from Dean he hadn't meant to stare, it had simply been too long he had seen Dean and he was suddenly hit with the intensity in his feature, the concern in his doughy brown eyes, the creased lines between his eyebrows. 

"Seamus?" After Dean got no response he placed his hand on his friends shoulder. "What did you want to talk about?"

"If every thing goes wrong, and I don't get the chance again I wanted to tell you that I - "

"Sea, don't." Dean's grip on Seamus's shoulder tightened hard enough to hurt. 

"Don't what?"

"Don't talk like that, you don't know that okay!",Dean loosened his hold dragging his hand down to grab Seamus', "Nothing's going to happen okay. You're gonna be fine, we both are. we have to be."

"Dean, this is important!"

Dean's eyes were large and pleading, his voice frantic and desperate. "No, I don't want to know. You're not going to tell me, because we are going to live through this and you can tell me then."

"Dean just let me -"

"NO"

"Dean"

"I told you I don't want -"

"God why do you have to make this harder than it is?," Seamus breathed deeply lowering his voice when he realised that they had got the attention of several other students, "I love you."

"I love you too Sea you're my -"

"No, Dean. I mean I'm in love with you."

All Seamus got to see was Dean's wide eyes and open jaw before Neville ran up to them panting. "I've been looking all over for you. It's time." 

Seamus nodded not bothering to turn and look back at Dean scared by what he might see.

* * *

The battle was unlike the gryffindor fantasy of bravery and honour Seamus had pictured throughout his life, it was so far from the depictions in movies and books it wasn't beautiful, or grand or heroic it was terrifying and painful and despit winning it didn't feel like a victory. He was standing in a room surrounded by the dead, the injured and the grieving. Despite how selfish it made him feel, surrounded by people grieving their own loses, he prayed that Dean was one of the lucky ones.

It didn't take long for Seamus to be able to spot Dean's head above everyone else's in the crowd. Seamus ran forward, struggling to push through the crowds of people. He had to see Dean. He had to know if he was okay.

Dean head swivelled back and forth frantically before he could see Seamus's form, a smile begin forming on his face. He barely had any time to prepare before Seamus launched himself at him full force. Staggering back, Dean wrapped his arms around Seamus tightly. Seamus was warm and soft and he never wanted to let go hoping to hold onto the other boy forever, to hold on to the knowledge that he had made it out okay, they both had. When Seamus dropped his arms, Dean reluctantly let his fall to his sides. 

"we made it" Seamus said awed and almost unbelieving. 

"I told you we would."

They stared it each other, as if daring that the other might only be a mirage that would disappear if they blinked. 

"So?" Seamus rubbed the back of his neck, he had never gotten to see Dean's reaction to his confession. He was eternally grateful that Dean didn't seem to think anything less of him, that he seemed so incredibly glad that he had been of the lucky ones to make it out alive. 

But that still didn't mean that Seamus knew where they stood, relationship wise. Was Seamus expected to pretend it never happened, was he supposed to go on living like he wasn't in love with his best friend as Dean went on and had his own life? He knew it would kill him. He remembered the pain of watching Dean and Ginny and he didn't want to have to live through that again. 

Was there a chance that Dean might feel the way he did? 

"About what I said. I know it might be awkward, but we never got to finish that conversation. I wanted to tell you in case we didn't make it out alive, which I guess we did so yay for that and I just well I hope, I haven't made anything akward between us that wasn't my attention and hey if it makes you uncomfortable I completely understand. I just hope that we can still stay friends."

Dean was smiling a wide dopey smile. "I never got the chance to tell you before but I'm in love with you too."

"What?" Seamus tried to step backwards but was stopped by Dean's arm around his waist drawing him closer. Dean rolled his eyes. 

"Is that you're way of trying to get me to say it again because I have nothing against saying it, you just have to ask.", Dean dragged his arm up Seamus arm lifting it to rest on Seamus cheek. "I'm in love with you Seamus Finnigan." 

Seamus face hurt his grin was so wide. Reaching up to grab the lapels of Dean's robes he pulled him down as he rose onto his tiptoes and finally after years of waiting and wanting he kissed him. At first Dean didn't responded surprised but when Seamus noticed attempting to pull away he was pushed forward by a hand at the base of his neck. 

Pulling away, Seamus slowly lowered himself back to the ground leaning his blushing face against Dean's chest where he could hear the unnaturally fast beating of Dean's heart that matched the one pumping through his ears. 

Turning to look up at Dean's eyes that he loved so much he sighed contenly. "I am so glad that you were right."

Dean laughed light and carefree pulling Seamus closer. "I am too, definitely wouldn't miss this. I mean I've been waiting to do that for years."

"Years?" Seamus lifted his eyebrow

Dean batted Seamus face away chuckling, "Shut up." 

"Okay." Seamus whispered before wrapping his arm around Dean's neck pulling him down for another kiss.


End file.
